Staying Grounded and Aligned with your Values: A Guide for the Holiday Season
During a time where we may feel pressured to feel continuous joy and gratitude, the holiday season can also bring up various complex emotions for individuals. At Grounded Wellbeing, we aim to create space for individuals who may feel disconnected, confused or unsure about their feelings during these times.
In light of the holiday season, we have compiled a list of reminders and affirmations to support individuals in whatever phase of life they are in – ranging from substance use and religious trauma recovery, to embracing queer joy and meditation exercises.
Navigating Substance Use Recovery
The holiday season can be tough for individuals who have experienced struggles with substance use, especially when confronted with triggers like family dynamics, grief, and/or seasonal depression. If you find yourself grappling with the overwhelming desire to use or drink during this time, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few tips to navigate these thoughts and process what’s truly coming up for you:
Try approaching any urges to use or drink with non-judgmental, compassionate curiosity. What might those urges be trying to tell you? What underlying needs may be going unmet? Also, know that your brain likely associated substance use with survival in the past, and as a result, may be seeking safety through these urges. Exploring these underlying needs without judgment can be a significant step toward healing.
In the face of overwhelming cravings, consider employing the TIPP skill, which involves techniques that change our physiology in the moment to signal safety to our brains. These techniques include applying ice to the face, doing a few minutes of intense exercise, practicing paced breathing, and doing paired muscle relaxation.
Connect with understanding friends, family, or explore alternative recovery groups if traditional approaches don't resonate with you. Embrace your individual journey, recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all path to recovery.
If you're looking for additional support, consider joining our Empowered Recovery Support Group in January—a queer & trans affirming space for individuals in recovery to share struggles and learn from one another.
Navigating Religious Trauma or Adverse Religious Experiences
For folks with religious trauma or adverse religious experiences, the holidays can be an incredibly activating and isolating time. Whether you've experienced religious trauma, familial rejection, or something else, know that you are valued and cherished. When preparing to set a boundary, we encourage folks to think about how they can take care of themselves before, during, and after. Here are a few examples of boundaries you can set, and tips for setting boundaries that might be helpful during this time (and in the future!):
Examples of Boundaries:
Only attending specific family events
Not attending church or religious events
Only allotting a certain amount of time to engage with family
Making plans with cherished friends or chosen family
Setting a Boundary:
Before setting a boundary: watch your favorite show, engage in deep breathing and/or meditative practices, listen to your favorite music or podcast, go on a walk/move your body in a way that feels helpful, call a friend, or doodle/write a note.
While setting the boundary: listen to your favorite music, drink water/something cold, utilize fidget toys, or doodle/write a note.
After setting the boundary: take a long shower, move your body in a way that feels fun, call someone you love, journal, get a treat, or take a nap.
Embracing Queer Joy during the Holidays
During the holidays, we might be around friends or family members that misgender you, violate or test boundaries, or question your general expression of self. As you navigate through any of these dynamics, we invite you to cultivate queer joy. As queer therapists, we define this as experiencing moments of happiness and connection while feeling embodied in our identities. Here are some ideas:
Spend time with chosen family and community
Watch queer characters in tv/movies
Embrace authenticity
Celebrate yourself and the unique experiences of queer folks
Set boundaries that you need to
Support queer-owned business
Wear something that brings you comfort and joy
Prioritize yourself in the hustle and bustle of the season!
And, lastly, if you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious or are looking to add some mindfulness or breath work to your day, visualization is a powerful tool to help ease some of these symptoms. Below are steps for a quick calming visualization that can be used during the stressful holidays or any time of year:
To begin, make yourself comfortable.
Notice how your body feels in this moment paying attention to any stress you are carrying.
Relax your jaw. Relax your shoulders. Let your eyelids feel heavy.
Take a deep breath in. Slowly let it out.
Begin to picture a color that is calming to you.
Bring it into your mind and let it slowly surround your body.
Let the color surround the room you are in.
Breathe the color in and let it relax your muscles as it fills your body.
Notice how calm and regular your breath has become.
Continue to fill your body with the color for as long as you need.
When it is time to return your attention to your regular activities, begin to become more alert.
Stretch your muscles and gently open your eyes.
Fully alert and calm.
We want to hold space for each of you, and affirm that the holiday season can bring up complex emotions. Our therapists offer a variety of services within various specialties, and are here to support you. Please reach out if you are looking for an affirming and brave space to be authentically YOU.